It’s actually slightly heartbreaking, soul crushing, irritating to feel yourself drift away from people who you have been close to for years. I heard about this. From my older sister, from my parents, from anyone on the planet. That people move on, we drift from people and we meet new one’s. And I’m not even going to apologise for being annoyed about it happening to me even thought I was warned because it’s affecting me. And pain demands to be felt, didn’t you know that?
I get it. We all have our separate lives. We all have things to do, people to see, deadline’s to meet, work to go to, sleep to have. We all have our own lives that need to go in a specific order so we can feel balanced, calm and collected. We all have our own way of doing things and, of course, when our friends fit so well in to our schedules it’s beautiful. We go to school, we go to work, we see our friends, we eat, we do our homework, we revise, we sleep and repeat. Until. We all go our separate ways. And suddenly some of our friends are hours away and it’s not as easy as walking down the street to the see them. We have to actually put effort in.
And it really isn’t that easy. Because maybe we forget to text them back or maybe the one day they are actually free, we aren’t free. And maybe we cancel on them because we are too tired. Or we have work. And suddenly our meet ups have to turn in to catch ups because weeks of life have slipped by with us barely even noticing. That’s what I’m talking about. When you consciously know you haven’t texted them or seen them or taken time to call them or even told them to have a good day. Like you used to. And at the same time you just don’t do anything about it. You put the phone down and go to work and pretend nothing is even going on.
Because you can’t even deal with the fact that you’ve drifted from your once closest friend so you don’t do anything. You don’t text them saying you miss them anymore. You don’t try and pick a date to see them. You just see their life flash by in pictures on Instagram that you used to be in. And you see all these names tagged in the photos that you don’t recognise. You miss birthdays and milestones and just the day to day life that is so beautiful to share with the people close to you.
So you make it your life mission to go out there and have the best life you can possibly have. But there’s a noticeable absence. And it’s all those people you didn’t bother to keep in touch with when you promised you would. Or all those people you fell out with other a stupid boy or an argument or something so trivial that you can’t even remember after all these months.
I get why we do it. We get so caught up in our new lives or new friendships or new relationships that we forget exactly what got us to this point. This place in our lives that we are in right this moment. Right this second. We forget how the people we held close to our heart for so long helped us get to where we are. How much we experienced with them. How much we went through. How much they changed us. How much we missed them.
So pick up the phone. Send that text. Hit the call button. Book a train ticket. Plan the meet up. Don’t forget about the people who grew up with us. Who made us who we are today. Who were there through princess dresses and the Saddle Club and Sainsbury trips on the weekend and playing on Club Penguin and boy drama and tears and walking for what seems like hours and crying over Facetime and even more boy drama. Who talked with us for hours about the same boys and same situations. Who could make us smile with one sentence.
Don’t let yourself drift from the people who used to mean so much to you. Who still mean so much to you. You know you’ll regret it if you don’t.
Tell them you love them and I can assure you they will say the same back.