“It always feels like there is just one person in this world to love and then you find someone else and it seems crazy that you were ever worried in the first place.”
Tonight I found myself all alone just thinking. I’m currently sat eating ice cream and wondering just how I have let myself get back to this place mentally again. (I feel like I am drowning again and I am totally struggling to cope. But that’s for another blog post.) And inevitably the thought of him has crept in to my mind once again.
He facetimed me earlier for about 3 hours and even now (almost an hour later) my heart is still pounding a little faster than usual. The way he makes my heart skip is starting to get incredibly irritating and distracting. I literally thought I was going to pass out when I saw him today. Annoying.
In the position I am in now, I always think that I will never forget him. Because we are “friends” and he is so involved in my life that I can’t imagine him not in it. However will he always be in my life? And should I forget that he was my first love in the first place? Is it worth remembering?
They say that you truly never forget your first love. I mean how could you? It was your first taste of romance and most likely your first experience with heartbreak. It changed you and affected you in ways that you will never forget. But are they just some of the many reasons why you should forget your first love after all?
Perhaps the way you remember your first love is affecting your new relationship or any potential relationships you may be involved in in the future. Maybe the true innocence and euphoria of young love, first love, whatever you want to call it can become a unrealistic expectation which all future relationships are then judged against.
Maybe instead of being so fixated on who we fell head over heels for the first time, we should be more bothered on who we are currently head over heels for. Every love is different so it seems a little stupid for us to always refer back to our first love. Especially since people’s first loves are usually when they are young, immature and innocent instead of mature, grown up and actually ready for love.
It’s probably realistic to say that new relationships will be more successful if people aren’t constantly fixated on trying to recreate the intense passion they had once shared with an ex, especially their first love.
HOWEVER. Let’s be honest. We all know how impossible it is to forget your first love. It’s incredibly difficult to not look back on it with either intense longing or intense hate. Every single one of us remembers their first love and that’s why it’s so special.
Whenever anyone hears the words “first love” a completely different person, image, situation, place will flash through their mind. I just think that is so magical. That one thing, two words, one experience we all go through. But each one is so different for every single person. Magical.
If I am honest. Even when we move on, grow up, find new loves. We won’t ever forget the first one. You might be able to move on. Or your first love might be on your mind quite often. You might wish things turned out differently or you might be glad that what happened, happened.
But you shouldn’t despair. You shouldn’t feel that you are deluded just because you still think about someone who had a HUGE impact in your life. Trust me; you’re perfectly fine.
Sometimes people do rekindle their relationship with their first love. And some people want to or have a small deep wish that they could have the option to. In a magical world, everyone would be with the person they love or even their first love.
So you probably have that “you weren’t good enough” feeling that will make you wonder why something with your first love didn’t work out. And that must annoy you. Who wants to live through life wondering why they aren’t with the person that they loved or still love? No one.
We tend to look back on our first big loves in one of two ways: romantically (“ahhh”) or in despair (“how could I?”). But either way, first loves are important because they represent the first time you really loved someone outside your family.
You will never forget them but don’t let them define you.
Take care and try not to worry too much,