feelings · First Love · Heartbreak · Life · Love · Self destructive · Uncategorized

You don’t destroy the person that you love

“You didn’t love her. You just didn’t want to be alone. Or maybe, maybe she was good for your ego. Or maybe she made you feel better about your miserable life, but you didn’t love her, because you don’t destroy the person that you love.”

When love enters our lives, it changes the world around us; we see things differently, we are different. Everything is different. We are swept off our feet by one person who suddenly has all the power over us. Love is as scary as hell. It has all of the opportunities to make or break us as people.

Love can be relationships but it can also be friendships or family. Whether it’s friendship or family or relationship. Love hurts. It can take one moment, one decision, one situation to change everything; for better or for worse.

Sometimes we put all of our time and effort in to people, for it to be thrown back in our faces. Sometimes we mistake love for infatuation. Sometimes we fall so fearlessly that we don’t even realise when it isn’t the right person or the right love. They can break your heart in the blink of an eye.

And there’s some stupid thing about the wrong love that makes us fall harder. That makes us want it more. That makes us go out of our way to sabotage ourselves, to let ourselves be in a situation where we are most likely going to be hurt. There’s just something about the person who doesn’t treat us right making us want to love them even more.

And we let ourselves become convinced that this love or friendship can be something it’s not. We convince ourselves this is love. I mean we feel so intensely so why shouldn’t it be love?

We love the wrong people and let them destroy us. Or we let ourselves love and destroy people too. Sometimes it happens slowly or sometimes we are just awful human beings. Everyone makes mistakes. But when it gets to the point where we can see someone is upset and we continue. We truly are just awful.

Because they aren’t always cruel, I mean of course they are kind enough for us to still love them. Sometimes they disguise themselves but really they are just so wrong for us, but we don’t want to believe it.

When it comes down to it. Humans are just so easy to destroy. We are emotional and we let things we can’t control, control us. And maybe there’s just something so appealing about the things that we can’t have. And maybe there’s something that draws you in. And maybe you do need him. Or maybe you thrive on the drama. Or maybe, just maybe, he needs you as much as you need him. Maybe neither of you want to feel alone anymore. (I mean misery does always love company.)

I know you think you can bring out the good in everyone. I know you don’t think he is destroying you. I know you don’t think he’s a bad person. But love isn’t supposed to hurt this much.

Because you might love him. But I don’t think he loves you. I think he loves that you love him. I think he loves that you need him. I think he loves that you boost his ego.

But love isn’t this.  Love isn’t hurt. Love isn’t an angry filled rage of emotions. Love isn’t tearing someone apart. Love isn’t being destroyed. Love isn’t sad tears that leave you sobbing and heartbroken. Love isn’t confusion. Love isn’t betrayal. Love doesn’t leave you wondering. Love isn’t trying so hard to keep someone’s attention. Love is simple. Love is supposed to build you up and not knock you down. Love is supposed to fill you and not leave you empty as you sacrifice parts of yourself to appease them.

I know you think you love him. But you don’t see how much he really is destroying you. You don’t see your broken pieces are only breaking more.

You don’t see it because we see what we want when we are ready. He’s gonna destroy you even more if you let him. He’s gonna change you even more if you let him. And down the road, you are going to look back at your reflection in the mirror and you won’t be able to recognise the person looking back at you. Don’t lose yourself to this thing you think is love.

Because this isn’t love. Love is so much more than this.

You don’t let it get to the point where you know you’re hurting someone. If you can see you’re making someone go through pain then STOP. Why go out of your way to continue someone’s hurt? How can you let someone you “care” about or “love” crumble right in front of you?

And it goes both ways. You don’t let it get to the point where you know someone is hurting you and you just continue to let it happen. If you can see you’re becoming upset over someone and their actions then STOP. Don’t let yourself continue to be hurt by the same people and the same things they are doing. Don’t let someone that says that they care and love you let you be hurt and upset.

What I have learnt from many experiences (especially recently) that if someone, a friend, a love, a family member, can sit and watch you be upset. They aren’t worth it. And even though you might care about them or love them. They honestly can’t care about you as much as they say they do if they can watch you suffer.

Take a stand. Push the toxic people away. Hold the people who love you close.

Take care and try not to worry too much,

Cleo xxx

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