“I love when people say they “had a thing” with someone. Were you in love? Did you have sex? Got slushies one time?”
“We have a thing.”
The amount of times this phrase has come out of my mouth is starting to get ridiculous. “We have a thing, it’s a thing, yeah our thing, the thing, yeah me and him are a thing.” But what actually is a thing?
Having a thing for or with someone basically means there is potential for or something romantic is already happening. But when does it go from a thing to dating? And will it always just be a thing?
I have a thing with this boy who I’ve been friends with for a year or so now. It’s a thing and everyone seems to know it’s a thing. Except for the fact that neither of us are actually doing anything about it. I mean other than establish that it’s a thing and then just continue to flirt and act on the verge of dating without actually doing it.
I mean yes we have kissed before. And since then we haven’t had the opportunity to do so again. (Watch this space there are so many parties coming up.)
I’ve been in “things”, you’ve been in “things”, we’ve all been in “things”. At the end of the day being in a thing is probably a lot more stress than it really needs to be. You and another person just haven’t established what will happen between you two. And if I’m honest I don’t think those things can be rushed. However I think the most confusing part of a “thing” is that you never actually know how the other person feels about it. Because they never seem to say. And sometimes you invest so much time into someone for so long, and then suddenly just stop talking one day? Sometimes people completely drop off the face of the Earth. Do we get bored? Do we just forget? Do we just not care anymore and forget we had a thing in the first place? No one really has a reason. Truly, I do not know.
Maybe we need to put an end to “things” and stop wasting so much time. Because are we just scared of commitment? Or are we enjoying the “thing” too much to let anything change? Or are we just scared to admit our real feelings incase we misinterpreted the “thing” completely? Who knows.
I mean I am totally guilty of being in “things” before. I mean maybe you glance at them a little too frequently, flirt with them a little too much, hug them a little too tight, kiss them a little too passionately, think of them a little too often for them to be referred to as just a friend anymore. Or maybe you both realise it’s a little too much more than friends and it frightens you. For people who have been friends for a long time it is scary to take the plunge, make the change, risk the friendship.
Overall I think having a “thing” with someone keeps you on your toes. It’s exciting and exhilarating and annoying and passionate all rolled in to one. And it is sad to me when “things” end for no reason because it totally just leaves people in tears. I’ve been there, done that.
So maybe we just need to take the plunge, make the change and just date someone. Get yourself out there. Put a label on it. Stop messing around and wasting time. Go out to dinner and enjoy yourself.
If it’s a “thing” then enjoy it. But don’t let yourself get too captivated in to having a “thing”. Because when it comes down to it, “things” can be as confusing and annoying as anything I have ever experienced in my life.
Good luck with this one. (I am totally going to continue enjoying having a flirt and having a “thing” with him. Maybe this one won’t be as confusing as the last one. Okay, let’s be honest it will probably be worse.)
Take care and try not to worry too much,