He’s just not that in to you

“Let’s start with this statistic: You are delicious. Be brave, my sweet. I know you can get lonely. I know you can crave companionship and sex and love so badly that it physically hurts. But I truly believe that the only way you can find out that there’s something better out there is to first believe there’s something better out there. What other choice is there?”

He’s just not that in to you. (me.) He’s just not that in to me.

It has got to the point where I am finally coming to accept that he’s just not that in to me. (Yes I am in that major stage of heartbreak where you think you’ve had a breakthrough and you’re ready to move on. I give myself a day before I’m in tears again.)

He probably loves me and he probably cares about me. But sometimes it’s just not enough. You and I deserve to be told that we are amazing and that they love us. What’s the point in accepting that you don’t deserve to be loved and cared about? If they don’t show you that they love you; you deserve better.

“Don’t be flattered that he misses you. He should miss you. You are deeply missable. However, he’s still the same person who just broke up with you. Remember, the only reason he can miss you is because he’s choosing, every day, not to be with you.”

If someone doesn’t go out of their way to show you how great you are, then they aren’t worth it!!!!!! You don’t deserve to have to sit around and wait for a phone call you know won’t come or a text back you know you will be waiting hours for.

If he was in to me I would know. If he wanted more than a friendship he would tell me. I need to stop thinking that he likes me when there isn’t actually any proof he does other than me hoping.

“But what I can do is paint you a picture of what you’ll never see when you’re with a guy who’s really into you: You’ll never see you staring maniacally at your phone, willing it to ring. You’ll never see you ruining an evening with friends because you’re calling for your messages every fifteen seconds. You’ll never see you hating yourself for calling him when you know you shouldn’t have. What you will see is you being treated so well that no phone antics will be necessary. You’ll be too busy being adored.”

There’s no doubt that I have spent a lot of time trying to be rational and think of explanations of why he treats me the way he does. Maybe he is tired or stressed or maybe he is just busy. Maybe he forgot to text back or went to sleep early or is just out with friends. But what does sending a text saying sorry I’m busy take? 10 seconds. And if a boy (or girl) can’t take 10 seconds out of their day to give an explanation then they just aren’t that interested. If you have to second guess if they are interested or not. Then they aren’t interested.

The truth is if you are left to wonder if they are in to you. Then they probably aren’t. I know it’s harsh and horrible. But when people like people they show it. So if they aren’t texting back or aren’t bothering to talk to you. Then they probably don’t want to.

We drag ourselves through hell not wanting to see it. Not wanting to admit to ourselves that they just aren’t in to us. We waste time on the wrong guy, we lose hours of productivity, and we can end up obsessed with a guy that is not emotionally available, who will never commit, and ultimately won’t respect us. We lie to ourselves to avoid admitting to ourselves that they just don’t care. This avoidance naturally leads to us getting hurt anyway .

It actually gets to the point where we get deeply affected by the rejection to the point where we attach our value and self worth to whether the guy is interested or not. I often ask myself ‘what is wrong with me?’ when in reality it’s just a boy being stupid. I give away my power and rely on validation from a boy on whether I’m cute or not, whether I’m good enough or not. And that’s ridiculous.

We get so consumed over whether or not someone likes us. We just need to wake up and realise that just because someone doesn’t like us or isn’t that in to us, doesn’t mean that we aren’t great. Our value and worth has no correlation with whether the boy that we like likes us or not. Our worth doesn’t rely on someone else’s opinion of us.

Stop wasting your time on someone who isn’t that in to you. You deserve all the love and attention in the world. Don’t settle for someone who takes 100 years to reply to a text. Maybe you just shouldn’t be that in to him.

Take care and try not to worry too much,

Cleo xxx

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2 thoughts on “He’s just not that in to you

  1. I’m a firm believer in NOT begging for attention
    (although, I am an attention whore, so it sort of comes with the territory)!

    Sometimes, it’s important for your own self-worth to let people go that are not showing the attention you truly desire.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I totally agree with you! (same I feel like I’m gonna die without attention). But very true, it’s got to the point where if someone doesn’t treat me the way I think I deserve to be treated then it isn’t really worth having them in my life at all.

      Liked by 1 person

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