Long time, no blog. Well two days, no blog. But anyway, it feels like I haven’t blogged in ages. So here I am.
This blog is going to be about something that seems to constantly follow me around like I’m a magnet to annoying idiots who like to fuck up my life. This one is all about drama. Drama. Drama. Drama.
So here I am just sitting in bed, looking back at all the mess I have made so far in my life. So I’ve ruined a few relationships, friendships and potential lovers. Dragged a few people through the emotional journey that is being my friend. Created pointless drama just because I can’t let things go. Had countless arguments over stupid things. Thrown tables in anger. Tried to get in a fight with one of my guy friends even though I am 5ft2. I mean, do I need to go on? I’m sure you get the picture.
I am such a dramatic mess. Like omg can I be any more of a wreck. (Sure I can I could be on drugs or be an actual convict. But I would like this post to just be me whinging about how drama is just a part of me).
I don’t think I’m really that bothered about all the drama I always seem to have; if I’m honest I live for it. Who doesn’t love a bit of drama? (Unless it involves me being put in a situation I can’t bribe myself out of with hugs and emotional paragraphs of apology and love.)
I’m more bothered about how people have such a bad representation of me. Like who cares that I like drama? I’m still a nice person. I just love to gossip but I am still there for people. If I ever heard drama about any of my friends, the person saying it would be attacked in a second. (Not actually attacked, I am NOT someone who has the ability to fight). So what’s the big deal?
I LOVE DRAMA. There I said it. I find it funny unless it involves me or any of my best friends getting hurt. That sort of drama is something that I do not find fun at all; it totally ends up with me in tears in 0.5 seconds.
Drama is just something that is always going to be a part of teenager’s lives anyway. Boys suck. People lie. Friendships end. Relationships crumble. People back stab. Things change. Drama is just inevitable.
Being in high school just feels like you have been shoved in a washing machine and are spinning around at high speed. It doesn’t stop and things are flying at you and you feel like you’re drowning.
EVERYONE FEELS THIS WAY. No one is alone, we all just feel alone because everyone is too involved in their own shitty drama filled lives to notice that everyone else is dealing with shit too.
So anyway, I have no idea what this blog post is even about. Maybe it’s for me to admit my not so secret love for drama or maybe it was just so I could avoid doing my English coursework.
I’m not sure why I am using this Tuesday night to have a full on life evaluation. But maybe it’s for the best. I just want to be happier. And I finally feel like I deserve it. Maybe I haven’t been the best person and maybe I haven’t made the best choices. But it’s never too late to make changes. I want to be happier and I’m not going to stop trying until I am. Because I am not the type of girl who deserves to be sad over a boy who doesn’t care about her or sad over a relationship that never seems to quite work out.
So maybe I have more drama than a Taylor Swift album. OR. Maybe I’m just a typical teenager. You make that choice, I’ll let you decide.
Take care and try not to worry too much,