If it’s just me 

“If it’s just me, I think we need to talk about some things. If it’s just me, then tell me what you want, say anything. 

If it’s just me, I’ll hang up now and call you back when I’ve had time to think.

If it’s just me, crying alone in the middle of the night. Then it’s just me, and my tendency to overanalyze. And if it’s just me, holding on to someone letting go. Then I will let go of you. 

I’ve got no problem holding on. I’ve got no problem being wrong.But if you’re gone, then after all. Well, it’s just me.

I’ll take a walk, clear my thoughts, move along, no questions asked. Take whatever’s left of me and leave you in my past.

No more crying, no more scars. I’d love to stay, but I got to say. I’d rather be free. If it’s just me.”

When it comes to him, sometimes I feel like it’s just me who has feelings. Like maybe he doesn’t actually care about me in the way I sometimes think he does. 

If it’s just me feeling this way, then maybe we weren’t what I thought we were. What I think we are. 

I’m getting so tired and infuriated of feeling this way. I love him. And I feel like he’s just totally blind to it. Or maybe he can see it all and just isn’t bothered. 

The unknown is what stresses me out. Because I don’t know how he feels. As much as I wish I was I’m not a mind reader; and I never will be. 

So maybe nothing will ever happen or maybe it will. But at this point, I’m tired of waiting. If it really is just me who feels like this then maybe I shouldn’t be so hung up on it anymore. Because what’s the point of me caring if he doesn’t. 

I have totally got to the point where I am over analysing every single little thing. And I CANT HELP IT. I literally can’t help it. I’m going insane.  

So basically when it comes down to it, I want to know how he feels. I can’t just be left to wonder forever. 

I want to know and I want to know now. I’m so tired and I’m so infuriated. If something is going to happen then that would be great. But if literally nothing is going to happen then I would love to know so I can move on. (Or kiss someone he has got with in the past right in front of him. Oh what a joy it is to be bisexual).

Anyway I’m angry and I’m tired and I’m really not in the mood for another head fuck.

Take care and try not to worry much ( like I am right now and have been for weeks),

Cleo xxx 


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