“You are valid. your sexuality orientation and gender identity are valid. even if you are unsure or still figuring things out, that’s valid too. and even if you aren’t out in real life, you found your way to the gay community anyway, and you belong here. please believe me, you belong. you are valid. always.”
I’ve thought about writing this blog post since the day I started a blog but I was never quite sure how to bring it up. So I thought I would just go ahead and talk about it. Being Bisexual.
I never had that eureka moment where I was like wow I’m bisexual. Even know when I look back it’s just something I always remember feeling. Liking boys and girls I mean. I think there was a point where it hit me when one of my friends said how she had never had a crush on a girl. For a minute I was like wait don’t all girls fancy other girls? Am I crazy?
You’d think that liking both boys and girls would give me more options. Trust me my love life is as tragic as ever.
I feel like I’m going to always be one of those people who constantly question their sexuality. I never know how I feel about people and I always stress about whether I prefer boys or girls but I don’t really think that’s necessary.
Anyway back to being bisexual. I don’t really have anything to say other than the fact that I find both men and women attractive. There isn’t really anything else to it. In my mind it was simple but then I realised I had to tell people (well not had to but I have never been one to keep things to myself).
Telling my friends was terrifying. Not that any of them would have had a problem with it. I just still had this intense fear that they would hate me for it. If I’m honest I knew I was just being paranoid but I couldn’t help it.
The first person I told was one of my close friends who I had always shared my girl crushes with (I think she predicted what I was going to tell her for a long time before I even admitted it to myself).
The next person I told was my best friend. Now for this I was absolutely terrified. I don’t know why because I knew deep down she wouldn’t care. I just didn’t want anything to change or for her to feel weird around me. I nearly told her about 600 times before I actually told her (over message of course, I couldn’t face doing it in person).
All of my close friends (and the majority of other people in my life) know now, not that it’s changed anything. I think after the initial shock from many people it was like nothing had changed.
I did particularly enjoy telling one of my close friends because as soon as I texted him about it he rang me straight away asking if I was joking.
I’m so glad I told my friends because now I have someone to run to with drama over a boy or girl.
Now I know it won’t be as easy for other people out there to express their sexuality or however they feel about people. It doesn’t matter if you say how you feel or if you want to put a label on it or not. Some people will understand you and some people won’t. Just embrace it. You do you. You feel how you feel.
Anyway I just thought I would share that. Being bisexual is as stressful and crazy as being anything else. Humans are confusing no matter what gender or preference, it doesn’t get easier.
(I hate the stereotype that bisexuals are just greedy but I completely have to admit, I am greedy. I want all the options. Why just pick one gender when both are equally as attractive. I mean what can I say I like the options.)
Take care and try not to worry too much,