1st of February 

“Please, understand this: you will always be alone. I don’t mean it as a depressing truth or a cruel mockery, but that’s just the way things are. The reality is we all will be always and forever alone with our minds. Regardless of the person sleeping beside you, regardless of the loved one hugging you, there’s nothing inside of you but yourself.
You born and die alone, and you have to learn to live with it.
And love it.”

Hey guys,

I’d like to wish you all a very very happy February!

I’ve decided January was one of those practice months. You know the ones where you say you’re going to do all of these things and you don’t do any of them.

I’m going to stop biting my nails. It’s this habit that I gained through stress or anxiety and now I just do it without thinking about it. It’s time to stop. My birthday is in April and I want to have nice lovely nails for then. (I’ll tell you how that one goes).

I’m going to stop buying so much food at sixth form. I’ve got in to this huge habit of buying chocolate or flapjack or anything they have for no reason in particular other than that I want to eat it. I’m not saying I’m going to go all health professional, I’m just saying I need to not eat so many chocolate bars in a week.

I’m going to start doing more than just getting up, going to school, coming home, doing work, sleeping and repeat. I feel like if I start my revision early then I won’t be as panicked when it gets closer to exams.

I’m going to make more time for my friends. I won’t be with them everyday for much longer and I don’t want to waste any more time.

I have high hopes for February and I don’t want to waste a minute of it.

So hello February, it’s nice to see you again. Please bring laughter and hope and many shopping trips and time spent with friends. Please bring days of fluffy blankets and binge watching TV shows with friends. Please bring happiness and sadness and drama and resolutions. Please bring the same old same and the new and exciting.

I’m throwing myself out there and I’m hoping for the best. Hope is for suckers but I am definitely going to be one this month. I’m not going to dwell about being alone or not having everything go my way. I’m throwing myself in to work and friendships this month and I can’t wait.

So be alive and love it. You only get one chance. It’s a new day, it’s a new month. Make the most it.

Take care and try not to worry too much,

Cleo xxx

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