Life · Love

Almost lovers always do

‘So long my almost lover, maybe it’s time for you to go. I don’t know what I like anymore but I guess I’ll figure that out when I’m me again. Should have known you’d bring me heart ache, I guess that’s what almost lovers always do.

Can’t you just let me be, it’s hard enough already. Sooner or later we will wonder why we gave up but I just don’t want to miss you tonight. We can deny it as much as we want but in time our feelings will show. The truth is everyone knows almost is never enough.

The look in your eyes when you see me tells me it’s not over. But the ache I feel when I think of you tells me different. All I can do is think of you. You’re intoxicating and it’s exhilarating and it’s killing me at the same time.

If I had known whether you wanted me like I wanted you maybe it would be different. But humans are awkward and stubborn and the thought of love terrifies me anyway.

The lingering glances and the feeling like a jolt of electricity when our hands touch is the biggest warning sign I’ve ever experienced. I ignored the warning of course; I’ve always been one to take a risk.

I’m over it but not over you. How could I be over something that isn’t resolved? It’s all out in the open and we both know it. It’s like we are avoiding talking about something but neither of us really know what we would say anyway.

So let’s waste time and avoid for just a while longer, I wouldn’t want anything to change anyway. Maybe you’ll break my heart a bit more or maybe I’ll bring you some heartache too. It’s not like I didn’t expect it, almost lovers always ruin your life for a while.

I’d like to say we gave it a try. I’d like to blame it all on life. Maybe we just weren’t right. That’s a lie. Maybe if I tell myself enough, maybe if I do. Maybe if I tell myself enough, I’ll get over you.

We were almost, not quite, very nearly in love. And that’s never really enough is it.’

 

(Written 17th August 2016 1:12 am)

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